2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
5. The garage is always yours.
6. Chocolate is just another snack.
7. Foreplay is optional.
8. You never feel compelled to stop a friend getting laid.
9. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
10. You dont care if someone notices your new haircut.
11. The world is your urinal.
12. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
13. Same work...more pay.
14. Wrinkles add character.
15. you dont have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
16. People never glance at your chest while they are talking to you.
17. New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
18. Porn movies are made with you in mind.
19. Not liking a person does not preclude you having great sex with them.
20. Your pals never trap you with: "Notice anything different?"
21. One mood ALL the damned time.
22. Phone calls are over in 30 seconds flat.
23. You know stuff about tanks.
24. A five-day holiday only requires one suitcase.
25. You can open all your own jars.
26. You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
27. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
28. You can kill your own food.
29. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
30. You don't ponse of other peoples deserts.
31. I you are 34 and single nobody notices.
32. Everything on your face stays its original colour.
33. Three pars of shoes is more than enough.
34. You can drop in to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
35. You almost never have strap problems in public.
36. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
37. You dont have to shave below your neck.
38. Christmas shopping can be completed in 45Mins on Dec 25th..with time for a pint.
